Word of the year update: wishing vs noticing

Sunshine: wishing for it, and noticing when it arrives

Sunshine: wishing for it, and noticing when it arrives

Wishing is harder than I thought back in January. I started off with a wish that my tonsillectomy would go well, that it wouldn’t be too painful, that I’d bounce back. And what I found in the weeks after the operation is that first you have to notice what’s going on before you know what to wish for.

The doctors told me that I’d feel better in the first couple of days, but that the pain would be worse around day 6 or 7. And they were totally right. But what happened was that I totally freaked out about more pain before it hit. I tried to imagine how bad it would be. I talked myself into a total panic about not being able to cope. I imagined not be able to sleep, and therefor becoming a complete psycho-bitch.

Then I paused.

And I decided to notice what was actually happening now, that exact moment and day. I MEAN. This was a small (but significant) breakthrough. Let’s all just see where we’re at right now and then figure out what we hope could be different once we know where we are.

So. I think this is the update on my wishing year. There’s so much I could wish for, so many things I do wish for, but are they the priority right now? Do I even know where I am in each situation? That’s where I need to start.

Fortunately, I have a week off to go snowboarding next week (I’m so ready for a holiday!) which will hopefully provide some downtime to connect with where I am, what I wish for and, of course, some people I love.

Advertisements

March 26, 2013. Tags: , , , , . Jenny project, life, Thought projects. Leave a comment.

I’ve been thinking about Christmas…

I work in what is broadly termed ‘retail’, so I’ve been thinking about Christmas for a while. But it’s mostly been about how it will affect other people (and what they buy), as is the nature of my job.

However, we’re at 5 weeks to go, and I can’t put off thinking about my Christmas any longer. I started a Pinterest board to start collecting pretty things to keep my spirits up. I’ve been wondering whether to make or buy Christmas cards (I think I’m going with make…) And I’m slowly starting to piece together some gift ideas for family and friends.

Christmas isn’t always an easy and joyous time for me. It’s kind of an exaggerated version of life: there are ups and downs, just more extreme. There are brilliant and beautiful moments, but I can also remember wishing I was with people I couldn’t be with, or getting frustrating at trying to get people together. The hype isn’t all it’s hyped up to be sometimes.

So this year, I’m trying to enter the festive season with all these things at the front of my mind. I’m carefully and slowly trying to manage my expectations, focus in on the things I want, cross-sectioned with things that are actually possible. I signed up for Rachel Cole’s Wisdom Notes for some daily reminders to go slowly and calmly. The first one popped into my inbox today, and I’m feeling inspired about not getting overwhelmed.

What are your plans for Christmas? What’s inspiring you?

November 19, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , . Jenny project, life, Thought projects. 1 comment.

Hearts and how they open and close

Image via Pinterest

I have so many brilliant friends who have huge, unique, fantastic potential to love and be loved, but haven’t found the opportunity to let it out yet. Have I found it? Does anyone ever find it?

I’m in a cycle of want-to-open-up followed swiftly holy-shit-this-is-terrifying. My capacity to love is constant, but my ability to let others in and accept the world as it is waxes and wanes regularly – often within a single 24 hour period.

As often happens, I’m reminded of Brene Brown’s eye-opening talk on vulnerability. She talks about the excruciating pain that we experience when we open up to being happy as well as being sad.

August 16, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , . Jenny project, life, Thought projects. Leave a comment.

Finding it

I don’t have a picture for today’s August Break post, but I do have a quote:

For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment. Viktor E. Frankl

I know I’m not the only person to wonder what makes up the meaning and purpose of life, but I’m very pleased that others have found the same place I have: that we can find our own meaning. At the moment, the process of finding my meaning is my purpose.

August 8, 2012. Tags: , , , . Jenny project, life, Thought projects. Leave a comment.

Hearts on squares

Not much today, except to say that I can’t stop listening to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbHe7qQGD0Y

 

August 4, 2012. Tags: , , . creative, Jenny project, life, Thought projects. Leave a comment.

We are all capable of brilliant things

I’ll be honest: the last few weeks/months have been difficult for me. I hope I’ve hit rock bottom and the only way is up, but it does feel a bit dark and miserable down here sometimes.

There are things that have kept me going: brilliant beautiful blogs and books by Susannah, Kelle, Kal, Gretchen and Brene – and little pieces of art and bits of words, like this print.

We are all capable of brilliant things. Sometimes, we have to choose to be capable and whether we’re going to let the capability turn into reality. We’re all capable of doing the washing up, of losing weight, of writing a novel, of playing the piano, of having a party. Every single one of us. They’re all things we can do.

It’s nice to be reminded of that, especially right now. But the big question is whether we actually do it.

What brilliant things are you capable of? What brilliant things are you doing today?

August 2, 2012. Tags: , , , , , . Jenny project, life, Thought projects. 2 comments.

August: don’t be silly

image

As my first August Break post, I thought I’d share this cute and relevant bit of graffiti I found recently.

August 1, 2012. Tags: , . creative, Jenny project, life, Thought projects. 2 comments.

Turns out I’m human.

Turns out I make mistakes.

Turns out I like some things and not others.

Turns out I’m inconsistent.

Turns out people move on.

Turns out I do too.

Turns out I haven’t got there

Yet.

June 6, 2012. Tags: . Jenny project, Thought projects, writing project. Leave a comment.

The first thought project

So, on Sunday I blogged about baking. That was totally fun. I’m going to do that again. Like, in about a week.

And I’ve got this other plan, too. I also make real proper dinner, and I’m going to blog about that, like, once a week.

AND I also make stuff from time to time. You know, cards and knitted stuff and craft stuff and stupid stuff. And I’m going to blog about that. Like, once a week.

Then. You’re never going to believe this. I also think about stuff. And I’m going to fill the space between the baking and the dinner and the making with my thoughts about the waking moments. About the things that we all have in common, the things that make us stand apart. The things I enjoy, that other people enjoy. The things I do and think and feel.

I don’t know about you but I do actually find it quite difficult to figure out what I think and feel. Sometimes it’s just habit or something that someone else does that I’m hanging on to. Well. No more. It’s time, at the age of 23, that I plunge into the depths of my own brain and body.

Hope you stick around to see what I find.

August 24, 2010. Tags: , , , , . Thought projects. Leave a comment.

Every journey begins with a single step

So. Here I am, just getting on with things, and a thought occurs to me. Then it starts plaguing me. The thought is this:

‘What do I actually like doing?’

It’s a tough question. When you spend your life going from one moment, one day, one year to the next, the answer can pass you by. But then I think, ‘I like doing loads of stuff,’ and that’s true. But which bits specifically? sometimes I like doing nothing. Sometimes it’s about just being.

But I would like to record this doing and being in the form of a project that is just about things that I like.

I’m going to be recording the things I do, things I make and things I think about in a nice blog.

It’s going to be fun!

The first project is coming soon!

August 21, 2010. Tags: , , , . creative, Jenny project, life, Thought projects. Leave a comment.